December is here, and with it, the most magical time of the year. But let’s be honest, it can also be a challenging time. Reuniting with family and friends we haven’t seen in a long time can sometimes trigger self-doubt or insecurities. That's why I’m dedicating this blog to helping you prepare yourself emotionally and mentally, so this year, you can feel stronger and more at ease.
Let’s start by looking at what can come up when you reconnect with people after a long time. Meeting relatives or friends might bring up concerns about your appearance, as some may feel entitled to comment on it. Many of us crave compliments, and when they don’t come, it can feel disappointing. I remember times when I’d go on intense diets before holiday gatherings, eagerly anticipating compliments from family and friends. But if they didn’t notice or say something, I’d feel crushed. Please remember: never make changes to your body for others’ approval!
Another source of stress can be the inevitable questions about your life—love life, career, studies. These can bring out self-criticism, as we might focus only on what isn’t going well rather than being content with where we are. Often, we assume others have expectations we won’t live up to.
So, how can you reduce this self-doubt and go into these gatherings feeling more confident and at ease? Here are my tips:
Prepare Yourself: Start building self-love and self-acceptance now, so when these encounters happen, you’re grounded and resilient. Here are a few options:
Affirmations: Find or create an affirmation that boosts your confidence, and say it three times a day.
Journaling: Write something kind to yourself each day. It could be things you’re grateful for, compliments to yourself, moments of pride, or a positive reflection on your day. This habit can really shift your mindset.
Mirror Work: Stand in front of the mirror and say something nice to yourself at least once a day.
Compliments: Make it a habit to give yourself at least two compliments a day.
And remember: these are just ideas. Self-love practices are deeply personal, and what works for one person may not resonate with another. Experiment with different approaches, explore, and find what feels best for you.
Find an Ally: If you have friends or relatives at the gathering you trust, reach out beforehand. Share how you’re feeling and what you’d prefer to avoid in conversations. This way, they can be a support system if needed.
Set Boundaries: If someone makes a comment or asks a question that makes you uncomfortable, it’s okay to let them know. Setting boundaries can be empowering, and it helps communicate that certain topics are off-limits.
Walk Away from Uncomfortable Situations: This one can be challenging but is incredibly freeing. If a conversation becomes uncomfortable or hurtful, don’t hesitate to excuse yourself. You’re allowed to step away from a situation that doesn’t feel right.
Above all, remember that you are the most important person in your life, and your well-being comes first. You know yourself best, so while others may have opinions or expectations, the only one that matters is yours. You are strong and amazing just as you are.
And if the season feels overwhelming, consider reaching out for professional help. This time of year can be tough for many reasons beyond what I’ve mentioned here. Support from a professional can be a valuable gift to yourself. You deserve to love yourself fully and feel confident!
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