What comes to mind when you think of the phrase "fake it until you make it"? Perhaps you imagine a woman standing in front of a mirror, telling herself she is beautiful, even though she doesn’t truly believe it. Sound familiar?
But what if I offered you a different perspective?
The Negativity Around "Fake It Until You Make It"
For many people, the idea of "faking" something feels uncomfortable. They may feel it isn't authentic. "How can I say something to myself if I don’t truly believe it?" they might ask. But think about it this way: when you learn something new, like a language, at first, you just repeat the words you've learned. They might not have any meaning to you initially, but with practice, they start to make sense, right?
Similarly, when you want to change something about yourself—like a belief or a thought pattern—you need to practice. At first, it might not feel genuine because it’s new. But with consistent practice, you can reach a point where you truly believe it.
An Example: Changing Self-Perception
Let’s revisit the example I mentioned earlier: a woman who doesn’t think she’s beautiful and wants to change this belief. First, it’s important to recognize that many of the beliefs we have about ourselves come from external experiences—things we’ve heard from others, like our mothers saying negative things about themselves, teasing from kids at school, or messages from the media. We’ve learned to think negatively about ourselves, so it stands to reason that we can unlearn it too! Each of us is a unique individual, and no one else can determine whether we are beautiful or not.
Returning to our example, this woman now wants to teach herself to believe she is beautiful, so she starts to practice. There are many ways to practice new thinking or beliefs, and different methods work for different people. She might start by looking in the mirror once a day and telling herself she is beautiful. This way, she is teaching her mind that the old thought pattern—thinking she’s not beautiful—is no longer true.
Yes, at first, it might feel fake. But think of it like saying a new word in a foreign language; it might sound strange, and you may not fully understand it. However, by doing it repeatedly, her mind begins to learn that when she looks in the mirror, her reaction is no longer "I’m not beautiful" but rather "I am beautiful." Over time, she starts to genuinely believe it because she has trained her mind to adopt this new belief.
Ways to Practice Self-Love
As I mentioned, there are various ways to change a thought or belief, especially those related to self-love. Here are a few options:
Stand in front of the mirror and compliment yourself.
Keep a gratitude journal that focuses on aspects of yourself.
Take time for yourself—do something purely for you.
Say "I love me" at least once a day.
Step out of your comfort zone.
There are many other ways to practice self-love, and different approaches work for different people. I encourage you to try various methods to discover what works best for you!
Conclusion: Embrace Your Journey to Self-Love
Remember, the journey to self-love and changing your beliefs about yourself is a personal and unique process. It might feel uncomfortable at first, and you might feel like you're "faking it." But with patience and practice, you'll find that what once felt forced can become a natural and genuine part of who you are. You have the power to redefine your self-perception and cultivate a more loving, positive relationship with yourself. Don’t be afraid to take that first step, try different methods, and find what resonates with you. You are worthy of love and respect—from others, yes, but most importantly, from yourself. Keep going, stay committed, and remember: you have the strength to become the best version of yourself. Believe in your ability to grow, and watch how your self-confidence and self-love flourish.
You’ve got this! <3
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